|Two Thieves And A Grappling Hook (Book)|
Two Thieves And A Grappling Hook was a book written by Crassius Curio in the Third Era. It is riddled with sexual innuendo and cliche. The book centers around the catch-line 'But What If We're Caught?'. It shows the life of a master thief and his apprentice as they attempt major heists all over Tamriel.
Volume 1 - The Crown JewelsEdit
Novice: Master, the back door just wont open!
Master: You have the key, stick it in and twist it!
Novice: But master, what if the key snaps?
Master: Do as I say, quickly!
Novice: I'm in!
Master: Quickly now, no time to waste
Novice: Look sir! The Crown Jewels!
Master: Aren't they masterful!
Novice: Shall I take them sir?
Master: Now, now. We must make them good for our client. Clean them!
Novice: Would you like me to rub them sir?
Master: Yes, rub them vigorously!
Novice: I'm rubbing as hard as I can!
Master: Yes! Yes! They're perfect!
Novice: Now we take them?
Master: Be careful, they are precious...
Novice: But what if we get caught?
Lady Lillian: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY HUSBANDS CROWN JEWELS?!